Janet's father, Josh Tye Williams Jr., passed over a little
after midnight on December 1, 2012. Before he passed, his family had a
wonderful opportunity to spend time with him when he was mentally with it. They
were able to have some positive interaction with him. The memorial gathering and
the military funeral were very low-key and simple and would've been to his
liking. After all the events of the day, some of us went out to lunch and spent
more time remembering him.
Unfortunately, I did not get to see Josh during his better
moments. The last time I saw him was Thanksgiving, when I made him angry at
me by trying to reason with him about staying in the nursing home until
arrangements were made for him to come home. Let's just say our last moments
together were not positive or endearing. It's not enough for me right now to
know that the reason he was acting that way was because he wanted to die at
home with his wife.
I feel a need to share some special memories of Josh,
perhaps selfishly, so that I can change the picture of him that is stuck in my head…
Of him snapping at me, although I have so many more positive thoughts about
him.
I have many memories of Josh; Of him being annoyed with his
computer and trying to help him with it, of him sitting in his big black
recliner watching TV really loud, of him cooking, of him sneaking me little
pieces of country ham before it was served and of having casual conversation
with him and his dry, occasionally biting sense of humor. The most important
ones to me though were of him at our handfasting. He was one of three males in
attendance and the other two were under the age of seven. My father was not
feeling very positive about my life choices at the time so none of my family was
in attendance. I started to explain this to the gathering when Josh loudly
announced that this was not a problem because I was now a member of the
Williams family. I immediately went over and kissed him right on top of the
head! I think I knocked off his hat. During the party afterwards, I remember Josh
dancing from one group of women to the next. I can see him now, a straw wide
brimmed hat on, moving from group to group, not really dancing with anyone,
just having a good time.
I think we have a picture of him dancing in our handfasting
photo album and I wanted to add it to the photo boards that Janet and Terry,
her mom, were making for the memorial but I didn't think of it until after they
were done. But I think I achieved my goal, I now have a snapshot in my head of
him dancing with his hat on amongst the lesbians…
